Inspirational Quotes of the Day: Those who can't...

This week has been a whirlwind of prepping and planning. In moments between projects, I've glimpsed sadly at news of the devastation in Haiti and, more tragically, the response of ethnocentric, egotistic, misinformed fools like Pat Robertson. The "news" is full of violence and apathy, all candy-coated for mass-consumption. We live in a frighteningly uncaring pocket of the wider world. I find myself frequently falling into an easy attitude of selfish nonchalance just like everyone else. It’s painless to mourn the state of the union over a beer with friends. It’s not complicated to chat about my own relative prosperity compared to most people on the planet and feel thankful. It’s much harder to actuate those casual discussions into meaningful action. I haven’t figured it out yet; I don’t know how I can activate change, but I have identified what I feel is the root of many of our problems: apathy toward education.

The fact alone that we have colloquialisms such as:

"Those who can't teach."

The fact that:

“America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.”
--- Evan Esar

What happened to thoughts such as these?

“All who have meditated on the art of governing mankind have been convinced that the fate of empires depends on the education of youth.”
---Aristotle

“The strength of the United States is not the gold at Fort Knox or the weapons of mass destruction that we have, but the sum total of the education and the character of our people.”
--- Claiborne Pell

“Peace has never come from dropping bombs. Real peace comes from enlightenment and educating people to behave more in a divine manner.”
--- Carlos Santana

We have countless seminars, public service announcements, facebook memes, and programs dedicated to making people “aware.” How about making people “aware” of their ability to learn, grow, and act? I’m just sayin’….

Teachers: Do not fall into a cycling pit of doom-and-gloom predictions about the annoying stupidity of your students. Do not begrudge the grading you *have* to do or the time you will spend prepping lectures. Teaching and learning will never become a higher priority (and your salary will never go up) if we don’t start making it valuable. And we can’t do that by making students feel unimportant, by shrugging off our responsibilities, or by ditching our office hours.

Students: Stop dreading the 50 minutes of your life you *have* to be in class. Stop arguing that nothing you do in school will ever be *relevant* to your life. Don’t ask me when you will ever do algebra again. Think about education as something you *get* to do – both in and out of class.

I completely believe that education and concern for the education of EVERYONE is the only answer to most of the messes we get ourselves into.

*This public service announcement has been brought to you by coffee. Thank you.*

Avatar: A Review (and a return to old blogging traditions?)

It's Friday night, and, surprisingly, I'm not out livin' it up and being obnoxious. I just got home from the movies and thought I'd try to brush up the old reviewing skills...though I'm fairly certain I've lost my touch...


I've been intentionally avoiding reviews of Avatar; all I knew of the film was that it was a) in 3D, b) really long, c) almost completely computer generated, and d) really expensive and lucrative. Normally this combination is not something that lures me into a theater seat, especially on a Friday night(minus the 3D thing, I did LOVE Jaws 3 and Captain EO). But I decided to give it a go...

...And I really cannot complain. Here's the lowdown:

Premise: Humans set up shop on another planet with the goal of mining some really priceless ore which happens to be situated beneath the territory of a group of big, blue hippies with tails. Through some unexplainable future technology, they create genetically hybridized avatars for some botanists (*cough**anthropologists**cough*)to store their psyches in to communicate with the locals and scout out their crazy plant life. Of course, as in all contact situations, this clashing of interests and perspectives isn't working out so well for the military-backed human mining corporation. That is, of course, until a dumb marine becomes a new avatar and starts actually studying the innerworkings of the Na'vi (alien/other) culture. War ensues...there's a budding romance...and war ensues...trust is gained and lost...and war continues...and you get the idea (it's a wicked long movie - even for me and I grew up on Cecil B. DeMille epics).

Plot: A little long and drawn out (to say the least). A little simple and obvious, but also comfortably thoughtful. Nothing outrageously unpredictable happens, but the script is put together nicely enough that you don't really mind.

Setting: Okay, clearly, this movie is beautiful to watch. The more subtle 3D effects were my favorite, and the color and texture of the images were amazing...The 3D did give me a slight headache and made me worry whether I was giving myself wrinkles, but I don't appear to have any permanent side effects (much less motion sickness than I anticipated - perhaps Cloverfield made me paranoid).

Performances: I always have a hard time gauging performances which are primarily voice-overs. All the characters seemed well created and portrayed. My personal favorite was Sigourney Weaver's portrayal of Dr. Grace Augustine....okay, who are we kidding here - Sigourney was basically reprising her role as Diane Fossey in Gorillas in the Mist....however, it was appropriate! It was appropriate given both the literal role she was playing and the symbolic one. *I will note that, for the record, I think making Sigourney a ginge for this role was a bad call. I'm just sayin.*

Overall Impressions: This movie is politically and socially very timely. The clear analogy of alien beings to indigenous peoples in cultural contact situations may seem simple and common(see District 9 for another good recent example), but is a message which, sadly, bears revisiting now more than ever. My biggest complaint was the stereotypical villainization of the humans (particularly the marines) in the film. I would have liked to see all the characters equally portrayed as valuable living beings. The caricatures of white, ethnocentric, gun-happy, misogynist soldiers gave this movie a little too much of a Ferngully feel. It made the Na'vi a little sad and puppyish, pushing them back into the realm of "noble savage" when the whole point was to battle ethnocentrism in this time of war, fear, apathy, and globalization.

I recommend this film to: people who can hold it for a really long time, fans of 3D or special effect spectacles, Intro anthropology teachers, and parents seeking to subtly introduce their children to ideas about culture, ethnicity, and differentness.

Inspiring Quotes of the Day: HOLIDAYS

I have every intention of getting some work done today....I promise! BUT FIRST! A little holiday-themed procrastination!

I talked a lot in my anthropology class about holidays. We had a whole class about Halloween traditions and horror movies. We spent another class making a "web of significance" (Oh, Geertz!) diagram on the board about Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and Christmas. Holidays make for great class discussion because everyone always has something to say. However differently we all may feel about "the holiday season," it is something (in our culture) that unites us.

Whether you feel that holidays are a socially-constructed equilibrium maintenance mechanism (Oh, Harris!), a cultural celebration of history, tradition, and family, an excuse to gluttonously indulge in food and shopping, a semi-annual celebration of religious values....or just a day off of work, I really hope you enjoy your holidays! Make of them what you will! Here's what a few other folks think about them:

A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell. - George Bernard Shaw

Come, woo me, woo me, for now I am in a holiday humor, and like enough to consent.
- William Shakespeare

Christmas is a time when you get homesick -- even when you're home. - Carol Nelson

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. - Erma Bombeck

Isn't it funny that at Christmas something in you gets so lonely for - I don't know what exactly, but it's something that you don't mind so much not having at other times. ~Kate L. Bosher

There are some people who want to throw their arms round you just because it's Christmas, there are other people who want to strangle you just because its Christmas
- Robert Lynd

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more. - Dr. Seuss

Probably the reason we all go so haywire at Christmas time with the endless unrestrained and often silly buying of gifts is that we don't quite know how to put our love into words - Harlan Miller

Shoe-A-Day Calendar

I have a shoe-a-day calendar on my office desk. For Sweet Pickles and the others working around me, my daily ritual of announcing what “sort” of day it will be is familiar and likely pretty annoying. Every morning I ask: "will it be a good shoe day?" Surprisingly, the calendar has way too many days of really boring or ugly shoes! Who wants to wake up on a Thursday morning to see a Lucite wedge with plastic sunflowers in their future?!?!? (Andrea Pfister, what the hell happened to you in the 90s???) Greeting the day with a bad shoe (albeit a photo of a bad shoe) is never good. I’ve never understood how so many people don’t notice this phenom…feeling crappy, are you? Look down! Maybe it has something to do with those puke-pink fake Uggs you have on…But I digress…

Today’s shoe predicts a mid-spectrum day: A metallic Michael Kors ankle strap pump. Though a little M.O.B. for my personal taste, it’s better than a technicolor Croc or, god forbid, an athletic shoe. This weather alone gets me down, I don’t need to look at ugly footwear all day to boot (pun definitely intended).

So, what do I plan to do on this rainy, grey, cold, Michael Kors day? I must grade approximately 40 essays instead of staying home to work on my new set of designs (working brand name: Polygamy Cult Slut); so, I’m going to make the most of every opportunity I find to utilize MK classic lines such as “it’s SO dowdy,” and “slutty, slutty, slutty!” and wave my hands around dramatically like a flaming New York yenta! Go find whatever you need to make the most of this crummy day! And if you happen by Wal-mart, let me know how well they’re stocked on calico…

A New Day

Having completed the final tedious (and relatively pointless) set of epic grammar exercises for my online class, I'm feeling relieved, motivated, and reflective. As I quickly catch up on recent Facebook activity and ponder the events of the past week, I sit content, sipping green tea and anticipating the rest of the year.

How much will happen in the upcoming weeks? How much do I want to relish (or grieve) from the past? How much to I want to alter in the immediate future?

I've come to realize that self-reflection is only worthwhile if it is done for the purpose of modifying future behavior. So, in the interest of constructive reflection (as opposed to holiday-themed pity-partying), my goal for the rest of the year is not only to reflect on 2009, but to begin creating my goals for 2010.

Yes, folks, this means you can expect several Pollyanna-ish blogs...for at least as long as I stay caffeinated.

Enjoy the beginning of the last week of classes! This is the only November 29th 2009 we will ever have.

A Sappy (and Snarky) Thanksgiving Blog for Charles

I’m sitting at the kitchen table at my folks’ house. It is around 8:00 in the morning. It is quiet.

That quiet will soon and suddenly disappear as my parents and brothers stumble into the kitchen to have coffee, cheerios, and loud, cacophonous disagreements about nothing that really means anything.

Thanksgiving to me is the most pernicious of holidays, full of loud, unavoidable annoyances and academy award worthy performances.

I don’t know when it was exactly that my mother stopped speaking at a normal volume. It must have been an awfully long time ago, because it seems she has always been shouting from a different room to communicate with us. It’s a sad sort of ritual; it reeks of stale, rote behavior easier to maintain than change….It’s annoying as hell.

I don’t know when my dad got so jaded, and began waxing sarcastic about all the stupid people in the world, how dumb they are, and all the idiotic things they do (which he’s an expert on, due to hours of educational programming in the form of such gems as COPS and Smoking Gun Presents: World’s Stupidest). It’s always funny at first, but after a while it grates like cheap government cheese.

I don’t know when my brothers started throwing me under the bus at holidays. Every time my grandmother and mother end up in the same room, these fools up and disappear. If my grandmother happens to take a breath in the middle of a tirade about her cats’ shitting habits, I excuse myself and find mine comrades hiding in another room, grinning like fucking Cheshire cats. It pisses me off.

I don’t know when I started drinking too much on holidays so that the dysfunction and discord become funny instead of frightening. It makes me feel like a cliché…and an asshole, but I continue to do it. After all, traditions are important in my family.

I don’t know why my family (and probably yours) is such a hot mess at the holidays. We all function pretty normally at least 360 days of the year….

But today is supposed to be about giving thanks, right? It shouldn’t be about frantic upsets about the dreadful pumpkin shortage, or whether or not the dining room centerpiece adequately encompasses our holiday spirit, or about gluttonously performing a tried-and-true ritual which more resembles an MLE challenge than a family gathering…

And I AM thankful…

I’m thankful for my mother, who is annoying, loud, beautiful, kind, and giving…

I’m thankful for my father, who is cynical, hardworking, talented, and sensitive…

I’m thankful for my brothers, who are frustrating bastards, but also my best friends…

I’m thankful for my grandmother, who loves us even more than her cats, however difficult it is to decipher that from her conversation…

I’m thankful for my husband, who will arrive later today and patiently participate in our somewhat frenzied tradition because he loves me more than quiet, peaceful holidays…

I’m thankful for my friends, who will listen to me recreate my holiday adventures, good and bad, even though they surely have more interesting things to do….

And I’m thankful for butchered traditions….

I’m thankful for every stupid argument, every moment of stressful cooking, every dirty dish, every glass of cheap wine, and every fleeting glimpse of genuine holiday bliss in someone’s eye…

I hope you are having an amazing holiday. Be safe and remember that, even the most dysfunctional, unmusical, irritating moments you share with your loved ones are, most importantly, moments you share with your loved ones.

We all have a lot to be thankful for….go celebrate!

Open memo to the dripdicks who stole my mailbox:

Why?

Are you so lacking in bathroom reading material that my medical bills and the Lafa Shopper were just irresistible?

My credit card statements will do you no good, as they are all maxed out...that is, unless you desperately needed them to use as ironic Christmas wrapping....P.S. - that was MY idea!

Maybe it was the mailbox itself...hmmmm....

It IS, after all, the perfect size and shape for collecting mail....However, you left the mangled post, sadly festooned with wilted strips of duct tape from the last time, when you preferred to simply maul the mailbox instead of actually removing it. Would you like the post as well? Because it is doing me absolutely no good at this time...The sanitation workers simply eyed it warily as it lay there among the trash cans; it was obviously too pathetic to remain, but still did not actually fit their definition of trash...and so, it remains on the curb - a sad, twisted little invalid of white aluminum in need of euthanasia.

Of course, a mailbox may be used for a number of purposes, which I'm certain you're exploring. I'm sure you can store your skunk weed, cheap porn mags, and Miley Cyrus cds in it. You could probably fit at least a dozen cans of Axe body spray, all your Hot Topic shoelaces, and your old, crumpled up class notes in there.

Before you start experimenting with the creative potential of MY mailbox, let me give you some advice based upon practical experience: The mailbox in question will NEVER be as useful to you as it was to me. It will, in fact, probably act out in response to it's capture and be incredibly snobbish to your mail, which does not belong there.


Perhaps you have noticed that we have replaced said mailbox....Please allow this one to remain as, clearly, you already have one and surely have no need for another.

Thank you so very much.