08 December 2009

Shoe-A-Day Calendar

I have a shoe-a-day calendar on my office desk. For Sweet Pickles and the others working around me, my daily ritual of announcing what “sort” of day it will be is familiar and likely pretty annoying. Every morning I ask: "will it be a good shoe day?" Surprisingly, the calendar has way too many days of really boring or ugly shoes! Who wants to wake up on a Thursday morning to see a Lucite wedge with plastic sunflowers in their future?!?!? (Andrea Pfister, what the hell happened to you in the 90s???) Greeting the day with a bad shoe (albeit a photo of a bad shoe) is never good. I’ve never understood how so many people don’t notice this phenom…feeling crappy, are you? Look down! Maybe it has something to do with those puke-pink fake Uggs you have on…But I digress…

Today’s shoe predicts a mid-spectrum day: A metallic Michael Kors ankle strap pump. Though a little M.O.B. for my personal taste, it’s better than a technicolor Croc or, god forbid, an athletic shoe. This weather alone gets me down, I don’t need to look at ugly footwear all day to boot (pun definitely intended).

So, what do I plan to do on this rainy, grey, cold, Michael Kors day? I must grade approximately 40 essays instead of staying home to work on my new set of designs (working brand name: Polygamy Cult Slut); so, I’m going to make the most of every opportunity I find to utilize MK classic lines such as “it’s SO dowdy,” and “slutty, slutty, slutty!” and wave my hands around dramatically like a flaming New York yenta! Go find whatever you need to make the most of this crummy day! And if you happen by Wal-mart, let me know how well they’re stocked on calico…

1 comment:

  1. Unfortunately, my Michael Kors day turned into more of an Uncle Karl day....oh well, better luck with today's shoe...I hope!